Hey it’s D.Shen here from Commitment Triggers. If you’ve seen some of our videos or read some of our emails and articles, then you know what kind of content we produce.

And here’s the thing. We don’t get those requests very often, so it took me a few moments to gather my thoughts and figure out how to reply to this man, who was obviously quite frustrated.

Take My Wife Off Your Email List!


A part of me wanted to make sure I didn’t cause more pain in this world and seriously considered deleting his wife’s email from our secure database.

But the other part of me kept nagging at me… “Who is he to ask such a thing without her permission or without working things out with her first?”

(After all, the husband was snooping around in her email inbox most likely without the wife’s permission…)

Maybe the wife finds tremendous value in reading our articles and emails… maybe it is life changing for her. (After all, we get comments and emails every day from women all over the world telling us how our work has completely changed their lives.)

Then I realised that the core of the issue was not about the wife’s email address, or whether she was reading our work.

The core of the issue was that this man believed that conflict is a bad thing.

The husband didn’t want the conflict, and erroneously thinks that if his wife didn’t read our work that there would be no conflict.

Unfortunately I am here to deliver some bad news for him.

The truth is, if his wife never read another article from us, she’ll just find other resources in order to challenge the status quo of their relationship.

Conflict will follow every single one of us, every heart beat and every step we take.

Conflict means we need to strive for more, more understanding, more awareness, more compassion, more appreciation.

Unfortunately without conflict, there wouldn’t be any growth. And without constant growth, we die. Perhaps not straight away, but definitely piece by piece we die inside.

Because conflict is life.

Without conflict, there would be no waves in the ocean, because aren’t waves created purely through the conflict between the air and water?

Perhaps your conflict is internal, and to resolve it, it will take a new understanding, a new way of looking at things – a new paradigm.

(And look, truth is, the conflict will keep showing up UNTIL you have that new understanding and paradigm.)

Maybe this man’s wife is a regular reader of ours for a good reason. Doesn’t everything happen for a reason anyway? What if… what if conflict is the best thing that could have ever happen to that man and woman?”

What if this conflict begins a new discussion between these two people, or a new way of thinking and a new way of life?

What if this conflict is the very thing that will remind this couple why they were passionate about each other in the first place? What if this conflict leads the couple to appreciate each other at a deeper emotional level?

What if this conflict leads to something much greater that they can’t even imagine right now?

One important decision we all have to make is “what does this conflict really mean?”

Is this the beginning? Or is this the end?

Is this punishment? Or is this an opportunity for something greater.

Is this going to hurt me? Or make me stronger?

Is this the universe telling me to take my understanding, appreciation and connection to the next level?

What growth would I miss out on if I didn’t have this incredible conflict in my life?

Perhaps you have some conflicts in your life right now that is waiting for you to come up with a better meaning. The conflict is waiting for you to take on that new awareness and understanding so that you can have the joy and fulfillment that comes with taking your life to the next level.

So choose to face the conflict. Appreciate what it’s here to do for you. Conflict is the gift.

NEWPolaroid David

D.SHEN

Commitment Triggers
Shenwademedia.com

P.S. When you’re in an intimate relationship with a man. Be prepared to have huge conflicts.

I’m not trying to be negative, I’m saying this because men and women are hardwired differently. We have massive differences in the way we think, feel and behave.

And I can promise you, you will find yourself with huge conflicts in your intimate relationships until you start to gain the necessary awareness, understanding and appreciation.
So if there’s anything I urge you to do, that would be to have crystal clear understanding of men’s psychology, their fears and desires as well as what love, sex and relationships actually mean to a man.

This is absolutely necessary if you want to create that deep sense of emotional attraction and connection with a man, long term.

That’s what Renee and I are passionate about teaching. You can come on the journey of understanding and learning with us, or do it with other teachers and coaches out there, it doesn’t matter as long as you keep learning and growing.

Remember, all conflict comes from a lack of understanding. Take your understanding to the next level, the conflict goes away.

Alright, that’s all from me. Take good care of yourself and I hope you have a great day.

Author D. Shen

David is the founder of Commitment Triggers & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to attract a high value man and inspire him to be emotionally committed to the relationship long term.

More posts by D. Shen
  • nena

    Maybe it is because your work teaches women to be high value and therefore demand to be treated like that!many men won’t feel good about it as they have to become high value too!!!and that’s not very easy!!!(personal experience)!!!but…although they seem like rejecting you and turn to other low value women ,they can’t get you out of their mind and keep coming back(personal experience too)

  • Heidi Lynn Russell

    It sounds like there is a control issue here with this man and that she may be in an abusive relationship. It sounds identical to what I experienced before fleeing my ex-husband six years ago.

    • Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

      Agreed. I’d be having issues with a man snooping into my personal emails without my knowledge. One could say, if I had nothing to hide I’d be ok with him snooping, but that’s not the issue, the issue is why does he feel the need to snoop? Major red flag for lack of trust on his part. I wouldn’t snoop through a man’s personal emails (no not even if I thought he was cheating on me!) and I expect the same treatment in return. The wife needs to change her password pronto!

  • Anna C

    Love the article, thanks! You guys definitely helped me a lot, and kudos for not taking her off the email list! It’s her privacy. It also seems like the man is insecure, and if she grows too much, he won’t be able to keep up and she’ll leave him! A lot of guys (and girls) try to keep their partner small so that they don’t have to grow. I’ve experienced that one…. He didn’t like me reading your content either! But now I’ve found the perfect man who is my partner in crime <3

  • Virginia Palau

    I think you’re absolutely right, David. I also suspect that perhaps that husband strives on conflict for some reason so he doesn’t want it to stop. Who knows? Some people have lost the capacity for real ‘connection’, positive, loving, kind, appreciative connection and/or they don’t know how to connect if they don’t argue or fight all the time. What you say is very true: conflict is part of life, conflict can be good if managed correctly, and it definitely can create a new way of relating to another person after both learn how to handle conflict. I think you and Renee are very good people, and that the world needs more people like you, who make a living out of helping others. Keep up the good work, and understand you’re dealing with a very scared husband here. For some reason…

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