If you want to attract high value commitment friendly men through Bumble, and be able to effortlessly create emotional attraction with them, then you are at the right place. Read on.
(Because there are some critical mistakes that you are most likely making as a woman that’s costing you the chance of finding, attracting and connecting with your one and only.)
But don’t stress, because hopefully by the time you finish this article, you will have corrected these mistakes and therefore help you find exciting matches which lead to enthralling conversations and exhilarating real life dates.
So first of all, here’s what I love about Bumble…
You as a woman have no choice but to make the first contact. This is a massive opportunity for you to instantly connect deeply with men and trigger a deep sense of emotional attraction… (IF you know how to break the ice in a high value way, more of that later in the article.)
This is such a huge inherent advantage of Bumble because most men are terrible at not just breaking the ice but relating to women altogether. Most of them have no idea how to communicate to women. (It’s not their fault, most men are too stuck in their own masculine world to know any different.)
…Not to mention a lot of decent men are simply too shy to know how to make the first move!
Remember, one of men’s biggest fears is to approach a woman whom he does not know. (There are literally whole forums dedicated to helping men approach women. Imagine that!)
So for you as a woman, having to make the first contact is one of the biggest assets when using Bumble.
Not only that, but there are many other ways to add small details in Bumble that you wouldn’t be able to do in apps such as Tinder. One of the features I love about Bumble is its Profile Prompts.
(I hope you’re using them because it’s an easy way for you to express your uniqueness and your personality, without giving away too many unnecessary details!)
Anyhow, back to the topic of this article. Having looked through hundreds upon hundreds of Bumble profiles in the last few weeks, I’ve realised that most women make at least one of these three common mistakes that is sabotaging their efforts.
Some of these mistakes may seem rather innocent on the surface, but let me assure you, there are some silent but devastating costs to making these mistakes.
i.e. Your profile may be perceived as low value or even boring in the eyes of men. Your profile may not trigger much curiosity and therefore doesn’t inspire exciting conversations to take place. You’re may be sabotaging your ability to establish a real connection with the men who are secretly interested in you.
So let’s talk about what these 3 common mistakes that women routinely make on Bumble.
Mistake Number 1- Your Profile is Rather Boring!!!
Having swiped through hundreds if not thousands of profiles, let me tell you… about 97% of all profiles start to look generic!
Look, I get it.
Most people, men and women alike, have never thought much about what should go into their profiles, especially in a way that is going to be perceived from other user’s point of view. So as a result, people usually just spend 5 minutes setting up their profiles, and hope for the best.
And plus, no one really teaches you how to set up a what I would call unicorn profile, something that instantly and obviously stands out from the rest of the crowd.
So the end result, another boring and generic profile.
Do you want to know how many times I had read the same lines…
Oh I love my family, love my friends. Love travelling, love the weekend, love food, etc.
Does all that sound familiar?
Now I’m not making it wrong for you to put that on your profile, but it’s a tiny bit boring because every other person does it as well.
Find me someone who doesn’t love their family, their friends, travelling, the weekend or food. That’s a much more interesting conversation.
So you might be wondering… what do I put in a profile to make it more interesting and unique?
The best type of bio you can write for yourself revolves around solving these 3 issues…
- How do you break a man’s swipe momentum and stand out in a high value way?
- How do you create intrigue and mystery with your photos and bio?
- How do you drop conversation bait to be used as fuel for exciting exchanges down the track?
I can give you some templates for a high value bio, comment below if you’re interested. Or stick around and I’ll write another article on that soon.
Mistake number 2- You have no effective icebreaker
“Hey John, nice profile photos. How are you doing?”
…That’s not really an effective icebreaker. (I’m so sorry to say that because I know that’s what most women do!)
Why is this not so effective? Because it’s BORING and rather predictable! And usually it inspires a boring response!
There are so MANY better and more effective ways to open up a conversation.
Here’s the important insight you need to understand…
The icebreaker is going to frame the overall direction of that conversation. If the icebreaker is boring, the conversation will start off boring. (And it’s very difficult to recover from a bad start.)
Think about it, how many times do you get to create a good first impression?
A good icebreaker needs to create conversation momentum and romantic tension at the same time.
See here’s the problem.
The fact that you have messaged the man first (even if it’s Bumble where it’s the rule) carries a level of “agenda”, ie you want something. And that carries a risk of you looking low value.
Call it chasing, call it push forward or lean forward, call it what you want. The moment you start a conversation with a stranger, the automatic presumption is that you want something out of that interaction.
(In other words, you’re here to take value in some way.)
So to balance that out, your icebreaker needs to have some element of “pull back” in order to dismiss that presumption.
See, a much better method is to throw a playful insult or a backhanded compliment in your icebreaker in order to negate the effects of the inevitable “agenda” you have created.
i.e: “Wow, your profile looks nice, I bet you spent all day crafting that one”.
By doing this, it would instantly make the interaction a lot more exciting and interesting to start with, and give some positive momentum into the conversation.
(After all, what man prefers a boring woman?)
The overall concept here is push and pull, which is super important for you to understand in order to succeed in online dating. (More details in my free class – High Value Banter, make sure you sign up for it below.)
So here’s what I’ve done for you.
I’ve been testing some different “high value” icebreakers and I want to give you one of my best performing icebreakers for you to use.
If you would like that… then use the link below, send me a private message through to my Facebook Messenger and just ask for it.
(When you click this link, Facebook Messenger will show up and you might have to click the “Get Started” button first.)
My super awesome chatbot (appropriately named Shenbot) will make sure that it delivers this top secret “High Value Icebreaker” to you without a hitch.
My promise to you is that by using this specific icebreaker, it will help you instantly inject excitement into the interaction as well as create a sense of interest, fascination & mystery.
Not to mention this also pre-frames the tone of the conversation so that it won’t die another boring and disappointing death like how so many conversations end up.
At the end of the day, the purpose is really to take you from being just another awkward stranger to the most interesting, mysterious and exciting woman he has ever spoken to.
Unfortunately things don’t just end at the icebreaker…
Mistake Number 3- You don’t have the skills to build attraction & connection over text
Here’s the problem…
Small talk isn’t going to help you build emotional attraction and connection through texts. (It’s not the same as how it is in real life.)
We have to remember that texting and using words account for only 7% of all communication.
Where as in real life, 93% of all communication is through body language and tonality. Those elements essentially disappear when we look at texting and online dating.
So you can’t communicate in online dating the same way you would in real life.
That just won’t work.
Small talk will get you nowhere faster than a bullet train off its rails.
What you need instead, is the ability to communicate in a way that carries excitement, mystery and
If you don’t have the skills to carry on an exciting conversation, to create emotional attraction through texts, then all is for nought.
Because it’s the romantic tension and emotional attraction that you are able to create that inspires the man to chase you, pursue you, and want to court you forever.
The only way to do this in online dating is through a skill I call, “High Value Banter”.
(This may come more naturally and intuitively to some women over others, but regardless it’s important for you to really GET it.)
If you don’t master this concept and skill of “High Value Banter”, then it’s easy for online conversations to go stale, for men to suddenly ghost you or simply push for sex without feeling where you are at emotionally.
In other words, this “High Value Banter” is necessary to help create romantic tension and emotional attraction with men online so that things naturally develop into a loving and committed relationship.
As I always say, online dating when you do it right, should NEVER destroy your self esteem, exhaust your patience and tax your soul. It should be fun, exciting and most importantly, effective in helping you meet, attract and connect with men.
But hey, you might want to read up on this article first- Does High Value Banter Work On Every Single Man?
So in order to help you, I’ve also prepared a free class to teach you the 3 rules of high value banter and how it’s going to change every single interaction you have with men online.
I want to invite you to attend this free class, to learn what these 3 rules are of high value banter.
One of the biggest challenges you will ever face in online dating as a woman is how do you truly connect deeper with a man on these superficial platforms! …And how do you build romantic tension and emotional attraction when the method of communication is so limited?
This is where “High Value Banter” comes in.
If you do it correctly, you should have men hang on to your every word.
If you do it correctly, the conversation becomes exhilarating and enthralling for both you and the man.
So here’s the link again…
Here’s some initial feedback we got with our free class on High Value Banter
Again, I can’t emphasise how important this is if you are to have any success with online dating as a woman. Everything comes down to your ability to interact with men that generates emotional attraction and romantic tension.
Anyhow, that’s all from me. As always, sending you all the love in the world, and I wish you all the best in online dating.
P.S. Here are the links again-
P.P.S. If you haven’t joined our Facebook community for High Value & Feminine Women, here’s my quick invitation for you to do so. CLICK here to go to the group.
Inside this private community, you can ask for advice, share your stories and experiences as well as learn from the whole community what it takes to show up as a high value yet feminine woman.
P.P.P.S. I encourage you to read on these related articles as well. I’m sure you’ll find these are nuggets of wisdom!