3 Reasons Why All Men Secretly Love to Commit

There are 3 very good reasons why I have absolutely no doubt that every single red blooded man on this earth would secretly love to be in a deeply committed relationship.

Big bold claim. I know. But there are good reasons, 3 good ones. Because no matter how commitment phobic you think some men are, as a man I can tell you, there’s so much more to this story.

I think deep down inside, every single man wants to commit, and would love to commit. Here’s the caveat, it has to be to the right woman.

Hey, it’s D.Shen here the founder of Commitment Triggers where we teach you how to show up as a high value woman who easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from men.

Let me tell you a bit a about the life of quails…

Yes, baby quails look cute and are totally vulnerable right now, but give it about an hour or so, they’re walking around, feeding on their own.

Give it a couple of months, they become sexually mature and females can start laying eggs.

Yep, only a couple of months.

So these little birds need very little nurturing to survive and reproduce in the wild.

Sure the chicks may pick up a few things in nature from following their mother like what they should eat and what they should avoid but most survival instincts are already hardwired into them.

Now look at us humans on the other hand.

How long does it take a baby human to walk? To feed himself or herself? To sexually mature and become a productive member of humanity?

A long ass time, that’s the answer.

A female quail could lay an egg a day, where as a woman, 1 baby and 9 whole months of gestation!? Not to mention breastfeeding and all that.

So I guess reproductively, us humans, are starting to seem pretty pathetic, right?

Thankfully to make up for it, us humans are pretty advanced creatures, well, at least most of us are. You may have a couple of exes who aren’t so advanced.

But the truth here is that us human babies come out so incredibly immature from a developmental sense that they need help for almost everything.

If you’ve ever had your own newborn, you probably know exactly what I mean.

Some days there’s just not enough time in the day to cook and feed yourself, let alone do anything else.

Newborns and toddlers require so much nurture, so much care and attention that women traditionally couldn’t have done it on their own in the wild.

Hence, the idea that it takes a whole village to raise a child.

So I think we can all agree that human babies require an incredible amount of nurturing to grow and learn what it takes to survive whereas for quails, it takes not even a fraction of a fraction of that nurturing.

This is where male commitment comes in.

There is no such thing as male commitment in the quail world because it is simply not needed.

The females don’t look for a good dad in a male, because it simply doesn’t matter.

The males don’t have the instinct or desire to commit because baby chicks don’t need it to survive.

It’s a game of eat, procreate and get away from danger.

But for us humans, our babies require the most nurture out of all the animals in the animal kingdom.

So we’re on the other end of the spectrum.

And thus as a population, women generally desire a man who has some qualities of a good father, and men have the instinct and desire to want to commit and BE a good dad.

I believe all men do, but whether they use it or not, is a different story and that depends on their upbringing, their beliefs and experiences, but most importantly, how the woman shows up in his life. The energy that she brings to the table.

But we’ll talk about that later.

So this brings me to the 3 reasons why all men secretly loves to commit.

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Number 1, you and I wouldn’t be here if our male ancestors did not commit at least to some degree.

That doesn’t mean that our ancestors didn’t have commitment resistance, so let’s just get that straight.

Commitment resistance is more to do with the context of the relationship and how the woman is showing up.

But the thing I want you to understand is that every single man has the hardwiring to commit, because our ancestors needed to rely on it at least at some point or to some extent.

There’s absolutely no way for us humans to have survived the last 200,000 years without some form of male commitment, especially in the times of resource scarcity.

Because for the most part, it wouldn’t have served humanity, the world or the universe if men left their women and kids to starve to death. That’s not how you pass on your genes to the next generation.

So for the last 200,000 years, there would have been many rewards for those men who used their instinct to commit.

The more it was rewarded, the stronger that instinct became.

Now here’s what’s important for you to understand… just because every man has this instinct to commit, doesn’t mean they’ll use it.


Us humans all have many different strategies, especially when it comes to procreation and reproduction. We are super complex creatures, especially in the way we socialise and interact with others.

But it’s important to know that all men now have the basic instinct to commit to a woman.

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Number 2 reason why all men secretly love to commit…

It’s because of the pairbond instinct.

What’s the pairbond instinct?

Well according to Wikipedia, a pair bond is the strong affinity that develops in some species between a pair consisting of a male and female, or in some cases as a same-sex pairing, potentially leading to producing offspring and/or a lifelong bond.

In other words, it is literally the act of falling in love.

Falling in love is nature’s way of saying, you will be infinitely rewarded with feel good hormones like Oxytocin, Dopamine, Vasopressin if you spend more time together and stick together, because nature knows how vulnerable human babies are and needed a way to ensure resources for their survival.

Because this biochemical storm that is falling in love is a stronger process than anything else to keep two people together.

And I think we can all relate to that.

That’s why we all know the story of Romeo and Juliet, not a story of a man committing because of social pressures, or even his outstanding morals.

Question… Do quails fall in love?

The answer is no. They don’t form pair bonds… they don’t need to.

But us humans being, we all have the hardwired mechanism to fall in love and pairbond.

Some scientists believe that this mechanism evolved also largely for the prevention of infanticide by competing males. Infanticide, the killing of an infant… because by killing a woman’s baby, you stop her lactation and force her to become fertile quicker so that you can mate with her.

Believe it or not, infanticide is incredibly common in mammals ranging from lions, meerkats, chimps and even dolphins.

But with a pairbond, there will be a male around to protect and defend both the female as well as the baby.

Now it’s important to understand that pairbond is different to the idea of lifelong monogamy… In fact there are many different types of pairbonds, as suggested by evolutionary psychologists, David P. Barash and Judith Lipton, from their 2001 book, The Myth of Monogamy.

There’s short term pair bond, long term pairbond, dynamic pairbond, social pairbond, but let’s not get into that conversation right now, because that would mean we’d be in for a long night.

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Reason 3 why all men secretly love to commit… it’s because commitment to the right woman feels better for men.

Don’t get me wrong here, all men have the most basic lizard brain instinct to pump and dump. But at the end of the day, that’s a rather empty experience. It’s like eating a piece of chocolate, it doesn’t last very long and it doesn’t give anyone any deeper meaning.


You’re probably sitting there like, you don’t know my relationship with chocolate.

And also I’d like to think most of us are slightly beyond just the lizard brain.

Now that doesn’t mean we ignore our lizard brain, and pretend it’s not there, it just means that we don’t always let it control every action we take.

After all, where do lizards live? Under rocks, right?

See what a deep commitment to the right woman gives a man, is a deeper meaning, something to fight for, and a feeling of purpose.

It also gives him the Oxytocin to stay grounded and connected.

We humans are very social creatures and our soul needs to feel grounded and connected.

And commitment to the right woman can truly fulfill the deepest part of a man.

And here’s something interesting, some of the world’s best pickup artists also prefer long term relationships over one night stands.

Why? Because it feels better to be invested in something.

Of course, it has to be the right woman.

What does that mean? It means he needs to perceive you as his one and only.

And that has everything to do with how you show up. The energy that you bring to the table.

So if you’re in a position where you want to get the commitment of a particular man, then know this…

The commitment process becomes infinitely easier once your man perceives you as his one and only.

And here’s the good news.

My lovely Renee is about to publish her brand new DVD appropriately titled, Becoming His One and Only.

If you’re not familiar with her work, you definitely need to check it out here… www.TheFeminineWoman.com

In this new DVD, Renee will be teaching the 5 secrets to Have your man Fall in Love with You & Beg You to Be His One & Only!

This is all brand new material that we’ve just shot recently and I’m certainly excited.

And here’s the real exciting news, it’s going to be free.

Yep. I know. FREE.

So If everything goes according to plan, it should be released very, very soon.

If you want to get on the early bird list for this DVD, click here.  (You wouldn’t want to miss it.)

So, here’s what I recommend you do.

Go subscribe to her Youtube channel, The Feminine Woman, (https://www.youtube.com/user/thefemininewoman/about) because she will be uploading a video to announce when the DVD is officially launched and how you can get yourself a copy.

Otherwise you might miss out on the launch of this DVD and you might miss out on these 5 secrets and life will be terrible.

Anyhow, that’s all from me. I hope you are well wherever you are, and I’ll speak to you very soon.

D. Shen Commitment Triggers

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I’ve been through a very emotionally relationship. At this time in my life I would love a companion, but what your article suggests is way to much effort to put towards understanding the male mind. Why can’t men meet us halfway?


You sure all this works with african men???


Are you sure all this works with African men?? Cos they behave rather different and the reverse is the case..it’s the woman that chases and treats them like a little boy they get to marry


So on one hand your saying men have instincts to commit but also they have lizard brains to pump and dump? Slight conflict there ??

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