Real Advice on Why Men Should Never Get Married…

To quote Paul’s advice to men…

“Life with the greatest majority of women is a battle for your soul…”

Hey guys it’s D.Shen here, the founder of Commitment Triggers & Shen Wade Media where we teach you how to show up as a high value woman who easily inspires commitment from men.

Oh boy – do I have something for you today!

I was introduced to the MGTOW community a couple of weeks ago by one of our readers… and my goodness did that lead down a crazy rabbit hole…

Just in case you were like me and had no idea what the heck is MGTOW… (It stands for Men Going Their Own Way)… see this MGTOW movement as the counter-feminism movement.

See it as a movement to patronize women just as radical feminism has patronized men.

See it as a movement to convince men away from committed relationships…

This was somewhat triggering for me because of my own beliefs. As you may know, I’m married. As you may know, I’m married to Renee…(whom I have nothing but respect, appreciation and admiration for.)

But she has earned every single bit of that and completely deserves it.

More importantly, I truly believe in the value of a committed relationship, where both parties truly value the deepening of that relationship, where both parties put each other first, not their own needs.

I truly believe something magical happens when two people come together.

But back to this MGTOW movement…

Here’s a video from one of the voices (Paul Elam) of this MGTOW community…

This is advice from one man to other men about the real reasons to NOT get married… (Right this moment – it may strike some fear in your heart, but know that this is just someone else’s perspective and doesn’t make you any less. You are valuable and worthy with and without this perspective.)

(Wait a second, before you go and watch this 14min video, I want you to keep an open mind about this because it’s easy to get “hooked” and “triggered” by this. Don’t worry, I’m also guilty of this.)

Instead, let’s give our understanding first.

Let’s lead with our understanding.

Let’s see the value in this even if we completely disagree.

Let us hear a different perspective, as this different perspective may hold value that gives us a deeper understanding of life, of men, and of relationships.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.

Now I just want to be clear…

I am not entirely against what Paul is doing for men. I have nothing against the man, himself.

I know his message has value for SOME men, just as feminism has value for SOME women.

I CAN understand where he is coming from, and that perhaps he feels like he needs to protect men from “modern relationships” or the sanction of marriage.

Perhaps he feels the need to give shelter to the men who have been beaten to their knees by the demands of the “modern relationship”.

Also, we need to remember that this is his advice to men. Not for women.

Paul is very articulate, and very well spoken. He sounds somewhat educated although I can hear resentment in his voice.

One thing I don’t like about what Paul is doing, is that he is assuming the worst intent from women.

And from that mental and emotional place, I believe he’s passing on his own resentment in the shape of “advice”, more than he is giving true understanding to men.

And resentment isn’t going to free you at the end of the day. Understanding and appreciation will.

high value women group

Because here’s what I always believe…

Neither men and women have bad intent.

At the core of the matter, we’re only trying to meet our own needs, sometimes in selfish ways, sometimes in more selfless ways.

Men and women however, have very different reproductive agendas. In other words, men and women seek different things in dating and relationships.

And as such, there will always be natural conflict between a man and a woman. ALWAYS.

In fact, if a man is truly masculine at his core and a woman is in her feminine core, then there will almost always be constant tension in the relationship.

It doesn’t have to be negative tension. It could be tension of attraction, of eroticism, or tension of anticipation.

And it’s in our natural interests to influence the people around us to become more LIKE us.

So in any long term relationship, the masculine man will instinctively try to convert his woman to become more masculine as the woman would try to shape him to be more feminine.

It’s not anyone’s fault, these are our natural instincts.

By making men wrong for doing so would be ridiculous and takes away everything that makes him a masculine man.

By making women wrong for doing so would be ridiculous and takes away everything that makes her a feminine woman.

We instinctively think that this is a way to connect deeper because then… we’d be “more alike!”

However, the more alike a man and a woman are in a relationship, the less tension, the less attraction and passion there will be. There’s a word for this, and it’s called depolarization.

It’s a double edge sword.

Anyhow, I’ve gone on a complete rant here.

Go ahead and watch that video above. And here’s what I’m asking from you.

I want you to watch it to understand, not to judge.

I want you to feel the emotions behind the words.

I want you to feel the pain behind the resentment.

I want you to deepen your understanding of men’s struggles in this world.

If you can truly appreciate this video without judgement, then I applaud you.

And plus, doesn’t a high value woman seek to understand, not judge?

Take a moment, comment below and let me know what you’ve learned…

D. Shen Commitment Triggers

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

P.P.S. For the record, I believe all men WANT to commit to a woman (the right woman). Without that drive to commit, we humans wouldn’t be here as our offspring would be long dead. But no man, (or woman) would like to be taken advantage of! It’s important for you to know that by truly having that deep understanding of the opposite sex, as well as a healthy sense of worthiness, you would and could never be taken advantage of again. Understanding is power.

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Mark Manson’s article came out a couple hours ago. “What’s the Problem with Men?” couldn’t be a more timely, sobering response to that video: Here are a couple excerpts: “Men are so emotionally incompetent without women, getting married is literally the healthiest thing a man can do in his life. One research summary of emotional suppression went as far to say: “emotional restrictiveness is the leading cause to why men die earlier [than women.]”18 “Married men live longer and score higher on pretty much every quality-of-life metric there is, including happiness and life expectancy. Marriage is apparently so important… Read more »


I have been dating a man for 3 and a half years who also shares his views and to be honest I can see why. There are a lot of greedy, selfish self-absorbed woman out there who don’t appreciate or respect their men. As a woman in my late 40’s who has been divorced and has two kids and now know what I want in a man, it is difficult to find one who is both masculine and knows how to treat a woman with care and respect but still want that woman to be independent and feminine. My man… Read more »

Caryn Parker
Caryn Parker

Wow ! I feel a little sad for that man and other men who believe all that. I do understand why some men feel that way though, because there are many valid points about the whole law and society system. There are some women, maybe a lot out there that treat men that way and sometimes visa versa. I can see men really do need relationship help to find their way past the selfish women and to the ever elusive unicorns, as he puts it. I am one of those unicorns, and proud of it! Though I believe there are… Read more »


I think he should have knowledge on women & relationships because he causes men low value men to become commitment phobic. I really don’t agree with him
that’s his views anyway

I appreciate for sharing! David

Ida Engela
Ida Engela

There is a lot of truth in this man’s words. I get where he is coming from. He’s more right than wrong. He turns me on. Mwah!

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

I think you meant “our ancestors would have been long dead”?

ab ee
ab ee

I agree with the CORRUPT family law system being changed to where NO one gets alimony or child support. To force any human to do something against their will is slavery. This family law system is in place to make money for the courts and lawyers and that is all it is. The courts are actually DESTROYING families more than helping them. Times are changing which cause more men to NOT marry. I’m NOT against marriage. A woman and man will never be equal if you really think about it when it comes to gender. Most women always say they… Read more »

Rachel Rudd
Rachel Rudd

Frankly, I feel nothing but pity for the men caught up in this movement. They have either been so badly abused by women in their lives that they cannot see beyond their own experience (much like women who have been abused by men), or they have been so imprudent and unsuccessful in their own interactions with women that they justify their inaptitude like fox that cannot reach the grapes. Perhaps this sounds patronizing, but I don’t think a woman should ever get angry when men rant about women. It’s a sign of weakness or injury, and a woman arguing with… Read more »


A quick insight from the old continent (Europe). Governments usually do support the socially weaker, often only if they have no other choice. A married person gets less help than a single one. When divorce rates started to grow in the last century and women were usually taking care of household and education, they simply kept that part as their ex-husband kept his job. The money source for mother and children still could be his and had to be his. No increase in government expenses, no special tax rising needed. The law is very serious about keeping it that way… Read more »


Wow that’s new,he seems passionate about what claims women are,l dont judge him,l actually feel sad for what he must have been through,this also made me happy cause l know for sure there are still good women out there who want to give love because it is who there are inside

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