Real Advice on Why Men Should Never Get Married…

To quote Paul’s advice to men…

“Life with the greatest majority of women is a battle for your soul…”

Hey guys it’s D.Shen here, the founder of Commitment Triggers & Shen Wade Media where we teach you how to show up as a high value woman who easily inspires commitment from men.

Oh boy – do I have something for you today!

I was introduced to the MGTOW community a couple of weeks ago by one of our readers… and my goodness did that lead down a crazy rabbit hole…

Just in case you were like me and had no idea what the heck is MGTOW… (It stands for Men Going Their Own Way)… see this MGTOW movement as the counter-feminism movement.

See it as a movement to patronize women just as radical feminism has patronized men.

See it as a movement to convince men away from committed relationships…

This was somewhat triggering for me because of my own beliefs. As you may know, I’m married. As you may know, I’m married to Renee…(whom I have nothing but respect, appreciation and admiration for.)

But she has earned every single bit of that and completely deserves it.

More importantly, I truly believe in the value of a committed relationship, where both parties truly value the deepening of that relationship, where both parties put each other first, not their own needs.

I truly believe something magical happens when two people come together.

But back to this MGTOW movement…

Here’s a video from one of the voices (Paul Elam) of this MGTOW community…

This is advice from one man to other men about the real reasons to NOT get married… (Right this moment – it may strike some fear in your heart, but know that this is just someone else’s perspective and doesn’t make you any less. You are valuable and worthy with and without this perspective.)

(Wait a second, before you go and watch this 14min video, I want you to keep an open mind about this because it’s easy to get “hooked” and “triggered” by this. Don’t worry, I’m also guilty of this.)

Instead, let’s give our understanding first.

Let’s lead with our understanding.

Let’s see the value in this even if we completely disagree.

Let us hear a different perspective, as this different perspective may hold value that gives us a deeper understanding of life, of men, and of relationships.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.

Now I just want to be clear…

I am not entirely against what Paul is doing for men. I have nothing against the man, himself.

I know his message has value for SOME men, just as feminism has value for SOME women.

I CAN understand where he is coming from, and that perhaps he feels like he needs to protect men from “modern relationships” or the sanction of marriage.

Perhaps he feels the need to give shelter to the men who have been beaten to their knees by the demands of the “modern relationship”.

Also, we need to remember that this is his advice to men. Not for women.

Paul is very articulate, and very well spoken. He sounds somewhat educated although I can hear resentment in his voice.

One thing I don’t like about what Paul is doing, is that he is assuming the worst intent from women.

And from that mental and emotional place, I believe he’s passing on his own resentment in the shape of “advice”, more than he is giving true understanding to men.

And resentment isn’t going to free you at the end of the day. Understanding and appreciation will.

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Because here’s what I always believe…

Neither men and women have bad intent.

At the core of the matter, we’re only trying to meet our own needs, sometimes in selfish ways, sometimes in more selfless ways.

Men and women however, have very different reproductive agendas. In other words, men and women seek different things in dating and relationships.

And as such, there will always be natural conflict between a man and a woman. ALWAYS.

In fact, if a man is truly masculine at his core and a woman is in her feminine core, then there will almost always be constant tension in the relationship.

It doesn’t have to be negative tension. It could be tension of attraction, of eroticism, or tension of anticipation.

And it’s in our natural interests to influence the people around us to become more LIKE us.

So in any long term relationship, the masculine man will instinctively try to convert his woman to become more masculine as the woman would try to shape him to be more feminine.

It’s not anyone’s fault, these are our natural instincts.

By making men wrong for doing so would be ridiculous and takes away everything that makes him a masculine man.

By making women wrong for doing so would be ridiculous and takes away everything that makes her a feminine woman.

We instinctively think that this is a way to connect deeper because then… we’d be “more alike!”

However, the more alike a man and a woman are in a relationship, the less tension, the less attraction and passion there will be. There’s a word for this, and it’s called depolarization.

It’s a double edge sword.

Anyhow, I’ve gone on a complete rant here.

Go ahead and watch that video above. And here’s what I’m asking from you.

I want you to watch it to understand, not to judge.

I want you to feel the emotions behind the words.

I want you to feel the pain behind the resentment.

I want you to deepen your understanding of men’s struggles in this world.

If you can truly appreciate this video without judgement, then I applaud you.

And plus, doesn’t a high value woman seek to understand, not judge?

Take a moment, comment below and let me know what you’ve learned…

D. Shen Commitment Triggers

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

P.P.S. For the record, I believe all men WANT to commit to a woman (the right woman). Without that drive to commit, we humans wouldn’t be here as our offspring would be long dead. But no man, (or woman) would like to be taken advantage of! It’s important for you to know that by truly having that deep understanding of the opposite sex, as well as a healthy sense of worthiness, you would and could never be taken advantage of again. Understanding is power.

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Tim Shepard
Tim Shepard

Mr Shen you seem incredibley naive. Admittedly Paul Elam has harsh words. That’s this motif, he’s speaking hard truth. But if you want Scientific Detachment, read The result is the same the Government is at war with men in our society, and marriage is their main weapon. Only a complete fool would allow himself to be suckered into a US marriage. I advise your readers to look up some men in their 50’s and find out if they think marriage was a good idea or not.

Chris Wake
Chris Wake

I know it’ll never happen, but marriage shouldn’t be sold as the ideal “goal” or “endgame” in our society. Films, tv, books, etc paint this portrait of a fictional utopia where one’s life is simply reduced to “finding the one”. In the real world “the one” doesn’t exist and your life will benefit largely with that knowledge. You are now free to engage in relationships without the mounting pressure of legal paperwork signifying two people are binded by law. 2 individuals coming together can be a special thing, but society of all ages has made that a chore rather than… Read more »

Paul Nelson
Paul Nelson

If a man gets married he has a 50 % chance of losing his home at least half of his savings and custody of his children. 85 % percent of divorces are filed by the wife. Half of the divorces filed by the man is because the wife was cheating. In recent polls 75 % of wives after 5 years of marriage would rather not have sex with there husband.

Cali Curmudgeon
Cali Curmudgeon

Sorry, but Paul Elam is spot-on. All too many of you here don’t like the message, so you are denigrating the messenger. The Femi(social)ist and Femi(commu)nist Left has poisoned the once nourishing well of marriage, and even though they have been defeated (all too narrowly) in recent elections, they still control the entertainment/cultural, legal/judicial, and (pseudo)intellectual/academic institutions. The reason for their agenda is that the more they can break up marriages and families, the more they can expand statist power at the expend of us the individual citizens. And finally, some men–and some women too–are wising up, hence the MGTOW… Read more »

Nicholas P Byram
Nicholas P Byram

I have watched a good many videos of his, and Paul Elam is spot-on. All too many of the readers on this blog don’t like the message, so they are denigrating the messenger. The Femi(social)ist and Femi(commu)nist Left has poisoned the once nourishing well of marriage, and even though they have been defeated (all too narrowly) in recent elections, they still control the entertainment/cultural, legal/judicial, and (pseudo)intellectual/academic institutions. The reason for their agenda is that the more they can break up marriages and families, the more they can expand statist power at the expend of us the individual citizens. And… Read more »


If you want more understanding of the MGTOW movement and Paul Elam, you should watch “The Red Pill Movie”……women have made us expendable. As Maximus said in Gladiator, “if we work together, we survive”…..all we want to do now as men is survive. In today’s society, for a man to get married is akin to cashing out his net worth for the total sum of it as his bank, getting on a plane to Vegas and plopping the whole thing down on red or black at the first craps table he comes to. He has a 50% chance of winning… Read more »


Very well written. I’m about to Marry a legitimately wonderful woman (although not perfect) and am marrying for the second time.

She comes from an amazing family with solid values and is very successful. We encourage each other career wise and are a great support.

After my first marriage, I still disagree with some of the wild rants that MGTOW guys offer.

Although I admit this article gave me some peace making this move again. I think it hits the nail on the head.


Yes of course guys commit! But just don’t get married. If your significant other is confused, just ask her to sign the same contract you are signing. Which would read in the event this doesn’t work out you must keep working to support me and the kids. It goes without saying that I will get the kids. You will pay alimony forever! If you get a raise I expect to see you in court so I can get my portion of the raise! I will go on vacations, while you struggle with making ends meet. Doesn’t matter to me what… Read more »


The red pill is on Netflix. Watch it! It will change the way you think forever.


I would call myself red pill…or at least between red and purple. I don’t know if I am a full fledged MGTOW yet (Man going his own way), but I am getting there. They can be abrasive, but they make some excellent points. It’s certainly possible that I am a TFL (true forced loneliness). I’m pretty sure I’m not an INCEL because I used to be able to get sex from women, not from 9s or 8s… But certainly from 5s and 6s and a few 7s. But now that I’m 44, they don’t hang with me much…. I could… Read more »

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