There are two distinct traits of women that men routinely fall in love with regardless of the woman’s age, culture or belief system.
(Surprisingly this is universally true all around the world and you will discover what these 2 traits are in this article…)
See, after working with and coaching hundreds and thousands of women in love, dating and relationship, I’ve discovered something very important.
When men fall in love with a woman, there are ALWAYS 2 traits that the woman exhibits, whether consciously or subconsciously. (And surprisingly this works like clock work, it works as consistently as the law of gravity.)
Now a part of you might be wondering, surely this doesn’t work for everyone. Surely there are exceptions…
Well, as it turns out, not really.
What makes a man fall for a woman?
Let’s address the obvious…
You simply can’t logically convince a man to fall in love with you NOR can you do it by over-proving yourself as a woman of value.
Falling in Love is an emotional and subconscious process. (A beautiful process of course when it all works out!)
Falling in love is a process that is based on many small nuances and emotional triggers.
It’s how he feels.
It’s about how you make him feel.
However here’s the biggest problem…
You will never be able to control someone else’s emotional decisions.
You can influence it at best.
All the real control you will ever have, is the control over how YOU show up. There is so much that you and I cannot control in this life time, so we’d be fools to try.
What we can do is put our energy and our focus on what we can control.
Sometimes stars align and the timing is right, and all goes well. Sometimes stars don’t align and we walk away empty handed. That’s ok, that’s a part of life.
CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.
If you didn’t have the heartbreak, you would never appreciate the times of love, joy and passion.
By learning these two traits that men routinely fall in love with, you will put yourself in the best position to have love magically come into your life. (…And remember, love always comes in a different form to how you’d imagine!)
Here’s why these two traits work like magic…
The reason why these 2 traits work so well to trigger men to fall in love, is because they are based on evolutionary biology. In other words, we as a species depended on this emotional mechanism to help us survive for hundreds of thousands of years. It’s in our DNA.
Don’t just take my word for it, go out there and test it out for yourself. I want you to experience first hand how this works for you.
You see, for a man to fall in love with any woman, he has to perceive the woman exhibiting these two traits at a very subconscious level.
(See my article on why men don’t fall in love with perfect women…)
Because the truth is, it’s not his conscious choice who he falls in love with or whether he falls in love or not.
Right? We all know that we don’t choose who we fall in love with… it just happens. (That’s because everything works way below the conscious thought level.)
It’s literally a cascade of biological and chemical reactions inside of him that allows him have that emotional euphoria that men go through when they’re in love.
But here’s a caveat… for a man to go through the emotional and biological experience of falling in love, you as the woman must exhibit BOTH of these traits. (This is important, so listen up.)
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that one of these traits is more important than the other, they’re both equally as important.
Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 8 Question Quiz!
Why being attractive is NOT one of these 2 traits.
So before I reveal to you what these 2 traits are, let me just tell you that being attractive is NOT one of these 2 traits. Unfortunately I think in today’s world, we as a society put way too much emphasis on how we look externally, and way too little emphasis on how we show up to the world.
I mean have you ever known someone who is totally attractive yet still couldn’t keep a relationship together? Absolutely! Are there plenty of women on this planet who are naturally attractive but are still being treated like a doormat?
You bet…! All you have to do is look around.
The truth is, every single day, men are falling in love with average looking women. It’s not about how you look, it’s about how you show up.
Don’t get me wrong, making yourself look good is sometimes important. But the purpose of that isn’t to attract men as much as it is to compete with other women.
(You get what I’m talking about right? To compete with all the other bitches out there! To feel like you’re better than other women. And there’s nothing wrong that. We all have that inside of us.)
To inspire a man to fall in love, requires a completely different approach.
But to inspire a man to fall in love, requires a completely different approach. And thats what I want to share with you.
When a man falls in love with you, he thinks and feels you’re perfect regardless of how you look. Your physical beauty makes no difference in his emotionally driven mind.
It’s basically hijacking his brain!
And guess what? A man in love will always find a way to commit, because he’s emotionally driven to do so.
Most of the time, men are looking for every reason to avoid commitment, when he’s in love, the exact opposite is true.
Here’s an article on The Women Men Commit to Versus the Women Men Leave.
Do men fall in love differently than women?
Yes and no.
Men and women both have equally the capacity to fall in love.
The difference here between men and women is the emotional triggers required for the process to be triggered.
There are feminine triggers that catches a man’s attention because it indicates value in a woman just as there are masculine triggers that catch women’s attention.
Not to mention everyone is different, (thank God for diversity) which means everyone has their own pre-existing ideas of their “ideal mate”.
This subconscious image of the “ideal mate” in all our us has been developing since our childhood and is constantly evolving. Perhaps we had a crush on a red head when we were 12 so we carry that preference throughout our lives.
It is designed to be there to help us find a mate quicker.
Do you know the dark art of “High Value Banter” that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.
But know that this image is just a preference. It can be overridden with a strong enough sense of emotional attraction and emotional connection.
In other words, when a man falls in love, he doesn’t care if you are the OPPOSITE of his idea of an “ideal mate”. He’ll throw away his preferences, because he’s found the feeling he was truly after.
But one thing is for sure. In order to successfully drive the process of falling in love, you have to be playful, you have to engage in some banter, you have to metaphorically dance in the relationship.
It’s never a smooth journey, and that’s a beautiful thing.
In case you haven’t attended my free class on the idea of “banter”, CLICK HERE. (You’ll love it.)
So enough of this lead up, what are the 2 traits that I’ve been teasing you about?
Trait 1) It’s your ability to show up as a…
The first trait is your ability to show up as a high value high status woman.
I repeat, it is your ability to show up as a high value high status woman.
Let me explain.
We as human beings live in hierarchies. We always have this ladder of hierarchy in our subconscious mind and we carry it around everywhere we go.
This isn’t my wish for inequality, but our brains are actually hardwired for hierarchy. In other words, we can’t live without hierarchy.
Here’s the reason why…
Fact is… Our brains were shaped by hierarchy…
Our brains developed the need for hierarchy in order to live cohesively in a group environment. It’s so that we can cooperate and work together in order to survive.
Back in the tribal days, if you were in the wilderness by yourself, chances are, you’re dead… unless you’re Bear Grylls. He’d probably survive and make a tv series about it.
But for everyone else, we needed our tribe in order to survive. So our brains are literally built to always work with other people in the ladder of hierarchy.
In fact, this subconscious need for hierarchy exist in every single species of animal that live in groups.
Think about a pride of lions or a troop of monkeys. There is always this ladder of hierarchy.
(There are always a few alpha leaders, and so on and so on…)
We are very much the same. Think about it…
When we’re meeting new people, what do we do? We instantly suss them out, even when we don’t mean to. We do it instinctively because we are trying to figure out where they fit on our mental projection of this ladder of hierarchy. In other words, we’re sussing out how high value high status they are.
There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.
In dating, this is really the only thing that matters…
When you’re in the dating someone, the ONLY thing that really matters is to present and prove your value as a woman. This is critical for you to understand IF you’re dating and you want to get past that stage and into a long term committed relationship.
The ONLY thing that really matters is to present and prove your value as a woman.
And of course, men do the same to prove their value as men.
And ultimately it’s those who present themselves as low value and low status who will ultimately struggle to find a partner, find love and have the relationship they desire.
Did you know that there are exactly 7 common signs that a woman is low value in the eyes of men? Do you know what they are (and how to avoid them like the plague?)
Click here to get access to the free report on the 7 signs a woman is low value in the eyes of men.
Think about this…
That is why celebrities don’t seem to struggle to find a date. Now you’re thinking, but I’m not a celebrity. That doesn’t matter. You could be your own celebrity. You could hold yourself as a celebrity. And that’s what really matters.
CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!
It’s all about how you hold yourself.
It’s all about how you hold yourself, how you show up. After all, status is only ever just a perceived thing.
Brad Pitt put in a remote tribe of amazonian hunters would have no perceived status, unless he earns it.
And thats the good news because you too, can be a high value woman. You too, can show up to be high value high status regardless of your age, your financial situation, your IQ or who your friends are… if you know how.
I would love to get into the how, but that is beyond the scope of this article… I can fill a whole weekend seminar on just the how, but I just wanted to plant the idea with you right now.
(In fact we teach that transformational process of becoming high value high status in some of our programs. But I’m sure you can check them out later on.)
Compatibility was never the issue…
See, when it comes to dating, it’s not all about compatibility. I know a lot of people talk about compatibility, I hate it. I believe if someone is truly in love with you, they will move mountains to make things work.
When there isn’t that much deep emotional attraction going on, that’s when little things start to get on your nerve… like… gosh what kind of shoes are you wearing?
See, in dating, when people say they’re incompatible, they’re really saying that the other person didn’t present enough value or status. But that doesn’t sound so good, does it?
So instead, they call it “compatibility issues”.
But it really comes down to value and status and your ability to show up as a high value high status woman.
I really want you to remember this, your job is to give the perception that you are indeed highly valuable as a woman.
If you like me to teach you more about how to show up as high value high status, just let me know by leaving me a comment below.
Men fall in love with women who are high value high status. It’s not his choice, his biology dictates it. Men never fall in love with women who are low value. And that is universally true. Sometimes men give attention to low value women, but that’s because he wants some sexy times and he thinks it would be easy with a low value woman.
Not to mention, men routinely take advantage of, use and abuse women who present themselves as low value.
So I really hope I’ve planted this idea with you that the skill of showing up as a high value high status woman is paramount.
But… being high value high status will only get you half way there.
If you’re only high value high status, and that’s ALL you are, then men will find you very difficult to connect with.
Trait 2) It is your ability to be open and vulnerable in spite of fear.
Here is the second trait of women that men routinely fall in love with. And that trait is vulnerability. In other words, it’s your ability to deeply connect with your own emotions so that a man can feel you, connect with you and feel inspired to take care of you.
(Click here to learn more about vulnerability.)
It’s about learning to open and become comfortable in that openness. (In spite of how much fear there always will be when it comes to love.)
To be in love means that you have to be fully open to the experience. We can’t fall in love with masks, nor can we fall in love with people’s outer shell.
We have to go deep.
In this day and age, a lot of us have been encouraged to push down our emotions, and make them wrong. The more masculine your job or career is, the more you’re encouraged this way.
Not to mention we’re fed the message of “Be a strong woman, take care of yourself, you don’t need a man!”
As much as that is true in a certain context, it is the very thing that make some women take it too far and ending up rejecting her own femininity and vulnerability.
CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.
And if your vulnerability isn’t there, what is a man suppose to take care of? What would be the emotional reason for him to invest his energy and time with you?
How is he ever going to feel like a man?
Think about that?
If there are no compelling reasons for a man to stay in a relationship, then chances are, he’s gone.
A man is compelled to take care of you and devote himself to you because of your vulnerability.
It’s an invitation for men to offer his presence. It’s a gift to him. It gives him the permission to protect you. It makes him feel alive, it gives him purpose.
Your ability to feel your emotions and express your emotions are the very reasons why men want to commit to you and take care of you.
But isn’t vulnerability a weakness?
Unfortunately most people have the false idea that vulnerability is weak.
Let me tell you, there’s nothing weak about opening yourself to feel your emotions. There’s nothing weak about being courageous enough to acknowledge that your feelings exist.
Being vulnerable isn’t about being needy. They are very different.
Neediness is in fact an expression of low value. I’m sure you know that already.
Why is it a sign of low value? Because it’s about trying to take value from the world and people around you.
Neediness is about value extraction. It’s about needing and expecting the presence of a man.
Vulnerability on the other hand, true vulnerability is an expression of high value. It’s value creation.
It’s about creating and inspiring the desire for a man to be there and want to give you his presence.
Here’s how you can be vulnerable without being needy.
But firstly you have to get in touch with your own emotions. Give your emotions space and time to surface so that you can experience them. They are here to serve you, even though they may seem scary at times.
And once you can truly face your own emotions, then you can truly connect with a man on the deepest of levels and create an emotional bond that even soul mates are envious of.
Here’s what you should do next…
So if you want a man to fall deeply in love with you, focus on these 2 traits. The skill of showing up as a high value high status woman, and your ability to express your vulnerability in order to connect on a deep emotional level.
If you don’t remember anything I say, remember those 2 things, and I promise you they will take you a long way.
In fact, we teach you 4 weeks worth of this in our Commitment Control 2 program. I guarantee it will shift your outlook and mindset about men, dating and commitment.
Click to read more about Commitment Control 2.
Look, if you found this article to be useful, then you probably want to learn more. We currently have our commitment masterclass up and running, if you haven’t taken it, it’s a great idea. It’s 100% free for you to take, there’s a ton of great insights that I promise will change the way you see men and commitment.
Click here to register for our amazing Commitment Masterclass.
P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
- Here’s my Youtube Channel Commitment Triggers.
- Here’s My Official Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Page Mr_D_Shen
P.P.S. Now, my guess is, there are certain things about men that confuses you… (After all, you probably don’t have that stupid y chromosome. Trust me, it’s that y chromosome that screws everyone up.)
Well, over the years, I’ve realised that there are 5 things that every woman ought to know about men, love and sex, 5 fundamental truths.
If you don’t know them, and don’t understand the implications of them, then I can guarantee pain. (Not that I want you to have pain, but sometimes we can only either have the understanding or the pain.)
So it’s your choice right?
These 5 fundamental truths will shift that for you. Click here to find out what these 5 fundamental truths are…
If you haven’t signed up to my newsletter or email list, this is a good time to do so. (You can do this by doing one of the quizzes or attend our Commitment Masterclass)
So now, I want you to do some reflection and leave a comment below to share with us… What are some of the key insights you’ve taken away from this article?
What will becoming high value high status and yet vulnerable mean to you and your love life?
How is this going to help you in the future?
Until next time, make sure you look after yourself, give yourself the resources you need so that you can show up as the high value high status woman you were meant to be.
David is the founder of Commitment Triggers & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with his wife Renee at The Feminine Woman, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with his work through the social media links below.
Makes perfect sense. However, I have learned the hard way that men don’t get married just because they are in love and/or feel committed. And, men marry low value women all of the time even though they are not really committed to the marriage. So what makes a man fall in love, commit AND marry? I have had exes (yes plural) stick around in the background for over a decade so I know that is some type of commitment. But, they would not get married when we were a couple which is why things ended. I HATE being in a… Read more »
Is there some way of knowing whether a man has high or low self esteem? I believe that a guy with low self esteem can’t see a woman as high status once she is vulnerable enough to show she cares for him.
Hey David, Fantastic article!!! Thanks! Say hello to your wonderful and beautiful wife! I also love her Blog and articles!!
Thank you so much,, the two points make complete sense but are quite difficult to do!! I feel I’ve become a lot more vulnerable since signing up to commitment control 2. I show my emotions a lot more. Showing up as high value is harder for me. The person I’ve seen three times now, we have been having a nice time but I don’t think I showed up as very high value because I started imagining him as my boyfriend. The last time I saw him which was last weekend, I asked him if he’s casual or looking for somethng… Read more »
Loved it!!! I’m on that track!!! Just need to learn how to be open.
hi David! Thank u for writing this- it really helps. But I was wondering, what do u mean exactly by being a high value high status woman? How can a woman achieve that? What are quality traits that make a woman high status high value?
Hi 🙂 thank you for the wondergul article 🙂 I must say I find it really hard to keep being open and show up ss a high value female, when i am feeling hurt. For example, when my bf pays attention to me, i feel good and i have no prob appearring high value. But when not, i i feel bad ab myself and i need to block my feelings in order to look fine with high self esteem and so on… i know it is not easy @nd combining the two traits takes a lot of unconditional self esteeem
If you are interested man is experiencing two major areas of his life where he feels badly about himself (work, health/weight), it is probably a safe bet that he is not at a point to really date you, right? I’ve been showing my vulnerability and he’s opened up to me about these two areas of his life quite a lot. We have phone conversations that last as many as 5 hours. When we talk in person it’s always until 5 in the morning. He emails me to tell me about his day and will send me documents that he wrote… Read more »
This is all incredible insight into men, however, what about men who have lost their own mothers and have a hard time connecting with women in general?
Hi David, great article. You and Renee are such great writers, I really appreciate how you guys explain things really well. However, I was HOPING you could give some examples? How to be perceived as a high value woman without coming across as conceited, and if shyness has anything to do with it. Also, I sometimes find myself expressing either anger or indifference when I’m hurt, is that what you mean about being vulnerable? That we shouldn’t try to hide what we really feel? Thank you.